Moving to Edinburgh was one of the hardest moves I’ve ever had to make.
I’ve lived in Nice, Montréal and Indonesia, but this experience was something different…
PART I: Foundations – Managing Your Mental Health
I was in a really vulnerable state when I moved here which I will not go into, but what I will say is that I needed the love and affection that only family or close friends could bring, and that’s not something that you can typically get from people you’ve just met for the first time.
I wasn’t the bubbly, outgoing and comedic Carmela I normally am (**if you’re reading this and we met at the beginning of the year and you’re thinking, ‘But Carmela, you weren’t like this at all!!!’, I promise you, I’m naturally way, way more bubbly than that and feelings/personal tribulations are quite easy to hide). I was a darker, more numb version of myself that was struggling to balance personal recovery and a transition to a whole new country, a new lifestyle (work life versus student life) and a new industry (politics to the marine world) all at the same time. I felt — quite literally — like a fish out of water, fighting against myself and this new environment for a gasp of fresh air.
But in these moments when you’re presented with unideal situations, you have a choice: to continue with the way things are, or to make a change (and work for something better). I chose the latter.
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It was in October when I started looking up ways to drop out of my program while recuperating the most amount of money that I could given that I actually left my program. School was kicking my — and I wasn’t in the best mental state to handle the transition neither from a mental, social nor personal point of view.
I wanted to go home. I felt like I had hit rock bottom. I needed someone to talk to; I needed help… so I looked for it. Continue reading “Coloured Confessions – Lessons I (re)Learned during my year in Edinburgh”